Absence

Hiee people.My very sincere apologies to all the readers for i have been absent from the blog for such a long time.I have been trapped in such a curious world for the last two months that nothing makes sense to me right now.I am at that fork of my life from where either everything would be settled entirely or be destroyed.The board examination that is the life shaping exam (according to almost every parent in India) is what i have to go through in the coming next 3 months and that is the reason why i have not been able to come up with anything but only the chapters in my textbooks.I apologise once again and would try to bring my mind together up once again so that i can chase my passion rather than running forward to join the crowd that the society thinks is correct.Thank u for supporting and your messages.Love you all. :)
Shubhi

If there is a reason,then its not love.

In the silence of the night with the moon giving out a faint light,they both stood there on the cliff top among the unending green valleys and mountains,the sound of the insects and crickets filling the quietness.The beautiful background made no difference to their eyes which were fixed on each other.She looked up while he stared down at her.

"Why do you love me so much?" ,he asked.

"I dont have any reason for that.Some things are more beautiful when they are unreasonable,aren't they?" ,she replied.

Reunion

She stood there in an uneasy anticipation.The surge of emotions fought from within to splurge out but she fought back equally stronger to hold them inward.She no more could find her voice to speak.As the hands of the clock played around,moving from one number to another,her hopes moved too from high to low.Slowly the feeling of vain expectations started taking her into it's clutches.
And then he appeared,across the border of the country which had held him captivated.Before her mind could speculate her next move,she found herself running towards him.The barriers were finally vanishing today.The prisoner of war had been set free.The next moment,she found herself tightly enclosed in his arms,involuntary tear's flowing out of their eye's.The wait of 22 years was finally over.The love that had submerged these two souls in itself 22 years ago stood their,still,smiling at it's victory of reunion.

A hollowness

His hand had been tracing the lines on her hand for long.His fingers slowly found their way to slip through her's.Their hands were entwined.The surrounding was drowned in the silence of the darkness.Only the sound of their breathing filled the beautiful silence of the night.He locked his eyes onto her's.The embrace of his lips on her's,that feeling of his lips brushing against her skin should have felt heavenly but suddenly it seemed all her feelings had abandoned her.Nothing she could feel.The numbness had taken over her.Even her tears had vacated her.She wanted to cry but she couldn't.No feeling came.Neither of happiness nor of pain.He was kissing her just the way she had ever wanted.It was everything she had ever wanted and then it was nothing that she had ever wanted.And it was because he had changed.It was not the same him with whom she had dreamt of those dreams.There was a guy today kissing her passionately,loving her unconditionally but he was a different guy.It had been just two months with him.
She had thought she had moved over him in the past 6 months,the guy to whom she had given away herself but today,the question still lingered as the "other guy" moved down slowly to kiss her on the neck.

Exams?Or disguised murderer?

Scribble.Scribble.Scribble.There was an eerie silence pertaining in the examination hall where 30 students sat,scribbling on a piece of paper their answers which were going to determine the future of each of them. “Last five minutes.” the invigilator announced.The scribbling got faster.His hands ached from writing continuously for the last three hours.He wanted to give up yet he could not.He wanted to cry for he knew he won’t be able to score more than 70% in the boards but he just didn’t have the time for it.He wrote and wrote till the sheet was snatched.The blow of reality struck him hard.He sat there still in the hall while the others moved out.70% and no admission in any good college.What would my parents say?How would I even face them?My future is ruined.What will I do in life?I am a loser,isn’t that what papa said.Yes I am.I could not succeed.I couldn’t score a 90%.What will the society say?They’ll taunt me for my entire life.These thoughts haunted him all the way to his house.Standing in front of the door to his house,instead of ringing the bell he ran upstairs to the terrace that stood above the 20 storeyed building.

Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead as he looked down.One step and I can escape the shame I would be bringing to my family when the result comes.Gathering every little drop of courage left inside him,he stepped ahead.The terrace stood alone in the scorching summer heat.20 floors below,drowned in blood,another victim of the merit system of education lied.

An escape

The last piece of clothing found it's place in the already full suitcase and the valise was closed shut.Her hands gathered courage to lift up the handle and the suitcase was raised.Pain shot up in her arms from yesterdays wound.Her body felt weak,her heart ached and tears trickled out of her eyes as she took steps towards the door of the house.For the last time she turned her face around to savour every part of the house in which she had been living for the last two years.A panorama of tortures that she had faced in every corner flashed in front of her.Every part of that house echoed a different cry,a different wail of her's.All the agony that she had faced.The walls against which innumerable times her face was smashed,the table whose glass had been used to pierce through her skin,the chair that was raised to hit her,the flowerpot that had hit her head so hard that she had got a permanent blood clot in her brain,every object in that house today articulated her to go away from this torment before he came back to torture her again in yet another way.The door closed behind her as she took the first step in two years out of her own personal little hell towards a free,exultant life with a determination to punish him for the acts of violence that he had committed.

A pretty Vengeance

A dishelleved image stared back at her from the mirror.The transformation started.A thick layer of concealer covered the red acne scars that had become more evident with the wash of tears,a coat of foundation followed next with face powder that renovated her tarnished skin to a flawless one.A thick stroke of kajal did the trick to hide the redness of her eyes,the eyes that had swollen from crying over night.She drew an outline on her upper lid to further compliment her hazel iris.The red lipstick succeeded,burying beneath it the lips that had dried up from the salt residued from her tears.Finally,a stroke of pink was brushed on each cheek and she looked back again into the mirror.And he said I am not pretty enough,she thought.I ought to show him what he has lost!And with that determination,concealing her emotions,she signed the movie of another director who was a rival of the director who had rejected her.

The date of release of the movies clashed on the same Friday and she garnered the accolades of the audience.The other movie suffered terribly.

A headline appeared in the newspaper next day, “Movie flops.Heavily indebted director commits suicide.”She read through the article with a smirk on her face saying to herself, “this girl whom you called ugly gave you an ugly end mr.director, didn’t it?”

Memories

She smiled through her tears as she heard him say i love you again and again,her heart melting to the sound of his words.A second later her heart cringed as her finger pressed the play recording button again and his voice,his i love you started to echo again in the empty room.The recording was a memory of their relationship.He,a memory of her's.

Rain-teeming memories

As i write this post,I am standing in the balcony of my home the sprays of rain hitting across my face,bringing with it the endless memories attached to these cold summer showers.Rains in particular have a strange tendency of opening up the many pages of your books of memory that you had tried burying somewhere in your head and that is exactlt what is happening with me.The drops of water,each of them remind me of him.Each drop shouts a different story of him and me,a different beautiful moment we had shared getting wet in these showers an year ago.The middle of the night we had walked down the roads holding each other's hands,living to the fullest every breath that night.The long drives we had been to with rain pouring heavily.I try to be strong but then sometimes,yes these tiny droplets do break my strength.
Rain is a beautiful thing.The most romantic weather actually but along with the romance comes the painful,scathing nostalgia that I unwillingly love to fall prey to.Today,every sudden smash of rain water is drenching me into my emotions that I have been faking for just so long.I am happy with where my life is today but yes,washing down this paint covering my emotions with this pure water for once feels good.And as i conclude,I feel a drop sliding down my cheeks.I wonder if it's the water droplet or the tear?

A Move ahead

You know sometimes for getting out of something,you need to get into something else and that is exactly what she did.It had been over six months and her heart couldn't help get out of her break up with the guy who meant the world to her.
And then one day,she climbed down the stairs of her school and saw the face that had been waiting for her to come to him for the last one year.He knew she had been in relationship with someone else yet he loved her.Yet he waited.From nowhere,it struck her.For what do you wait?Your past is gone and your future awaits there,her heart said.She took steps ahead.Her eyes met the greenish hue of his eyes,and she skipped her heartbeat for that one time!Was it love again?
"Can we have a chance now?" she asked him.
His lips curved into a beam and he couldn't help but smile helplessly.
"Yes"  he said.
She hugged him tightly but something pinched inside her.With that pinch of unsurity and insecurity about her feelings and with exhilarating happiness in his heart,they both stood their wrapped in each other's arm,waiting for their story of love to begin.

An introduction

Well this is the first post and so I ought to be introducing myself.So,Hiee!I am an optimistic teenager who has seen like a lot in life in the last 17 years.Shubhi-the name itself means everything good and that is exactly what my perpective is.I look at everything from a good perpective.

From being the star child of my parents to being a perfect girlfriend for a guy who with whom I broke up just 6 months ago.Growing up is silly and yet it teaches soo much that at times I do feel that maybe we should actually start living rather than worrying for the consequences and that is exactly what I have started to do.At first,yaa it was a bit messy for me when for once everything seemed out of place,nothing made sense and I used to feel my life is a waste but it’s all about waiting.I learnt to have patience and I learnt to never underestimate the beautiful gift of life.Things will go wrong and then they will become alright and then maybe again go wrong but quitting is never the option.I once read somewhere a beautiful quote that has been inspiring me since then for everytime I think anything to be impossible.

“It always seems impossible until it is done” –by Nelson Mandela

At first it seemed impossible that the little baby I used to be would change one day into such a big mature girl but then I did.It used to seem impossible for me to understand my parents but as time passed and I grew up,I started understanding them and now the understanding I have with them is amazing.For living without him,it used to seem impossible but then yes  we did part our ways and yet I am living as happily and emotionally more stronger than before.So you know,as I embark on this journey of sharing my moments,I hope I discover more and more.